She's a l o c a l girl

...the complimentary update;

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 22:14:03 GMT

Wow. What a collection of uneventful and uninspiring couple of months. Things have happened and words were lost... Nothing worth going into detail about, though. I'm single again though not by my own accord. Turns out my intuition had some merit behind it after all. He was cheating on me and whatever it was got serious. So.. to hell with all that.

School still sucks but I'm making it a point to stick it out until I either graduate or find a way to get around this degree nonsense.

Social life is lacking but when isn't it? I have the best friends in the world and the greatest family on the planet but I still find myself sleeping or without any energy to get us all together and do what we do best -- nothing with any productive value or entertainment quality for anyone except us.

I need a nap before work... and its hot and I'm restless.

Boo.

Wed, 03 Jun 2009 20:36:53 GMT

I'm a mess.

Sun, 31 May 2009 21:20:55 GMT

I'm alive, I swear.

Life is not all that interesting right now.

School is out and I decided to skip the summer session. I need a break. Besides, its not like I went too much this semester.

I hate the summer. Especially the spiders that come out now that the weather is getting warmer.

Currently talking to an old friend... and that could be a good or a bad thing depending on how good or bad I wanna be and yes.. I still have a boyfriend.

...stupid boys;

Wed, 06 May 2009 19:17:18 GMT

Gah. I got laid more often when the boy wasn't my boyfriend!

Fri, 01 May 2009 18:06:03 GMT

I wandered over to facebook. And I'm not ashamed!

...spring weddings;

Mon, 20 Apr 2009 20:33:11 GMT

I was given my grandmother's engagement and wedding rings.

I miss her so much.

...birthday bash, bitches;

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 23:33:05 GMT

I love my friends.

EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM.

And they all know why.

My birthday was friggin awesome. AND.. I got the boy to admit he was my BOYFRIEND. Heehee. So now when I say boy... I mean MY BOY.

Anywho, couldn't have done 26 any better. Seriously.

I LOVE YOU GUYS, MAN!

...i'll be reaching for the stars with you... honey;

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 17:29:40 GMT

Two things-

1. I saw Blue October last night. I shared the experience with my boy, Brian, some of the people who give my heart a reason to beat - Esther and Chris and some really good friends - Heather and Lia. The show will be with me for a very long time... it was amazing. A-effin-mazing. ... I am ELATED.

In this moment, I am happy with no buts.

2. I made a survey of sorts. I was bored and amped. Humor me and fill it out, yeah? Post the answers in your journal or in the comments to this entry.

1. Is there a story behind your eljay name?

its a constant reminder to try to stay grounded, honest and to base myself off nothing but reality. Sorry, nothing exciting or particularly intriguing....

2. If a book was written based on your life up to date, what would the title be and where in the bookstore would it be found in?

'How To Suck At Life In Style' and it would be in the self help section.

3. What song(s) or lyric(s) best describes you right now at this very moment?

'She has something breakable just under her skin.'
'Is this everything in me between Pluto and God?'
( Counting Crows -- 'American Girls' and Kenna -- 'Hell Bent', respectively. )

4. Have you ever had sexual relations of any sort with the same sex ( that wasn't fueled by some sort of intoxication )? Enjoy it?

Yes, I've had sober sexual relations with a girl. And yes, I enjoyed myself very much.. as did she. :)

5. Got a quote you wanna share with the class?

Sure 'Where ever you go... there you are.' Mike Brady offers up yet another nugget of wisdom.

6. What are three things you want to accomplish before the year is over?

1. quit smoking.
2. start training for a marathon of some sort running-wise.
3. finish a semester of school without dropping a class.

7. Who's the one person you wish would simply disappear?

Well, since Michael Steinmetz actually did disappear, I guess the next person on my list is that Demetri Martin. Demetri Martin, you are not funny and Comedy Central made a poor and stupid decision when they gave you your own show. Get off my t.v.

8. Are you a democrat, republican or somewhere in between?

I guess democrat but I'm registered green party. No idea why, though. On either of those... I hate labels and I hate politics even more.

9. Pick up the nearest book, magazine, instruction manual... etc, etc ( ANYTHING that can be considered reading material ). What are the first two lines of the second paragraph on the ninth page? ( keeeeeeep searching till you find something that qualifies! )

'The phone. Without moving my head from where it is embedded in my pillow, I reach out in the general direction of my night stand, knocking over some magazines, an open bottle of Aleve, and a half-filled mug of water, which splashes mutely on the plush ecru carpeting. ( The book is The Book Of Joe and its by Jonathan Tropper. Wordy and an all together ... bleh... story. )

10. What would the title to the soundtrack of your life be and what TWELVE tracks would it feature?

title : Shades of Blue

1. Crash Into Me -- Dave Matthews Band
2. X Amount of Words -- Blue October
3. Sound of Pulling Heaven Down -- Blue October
4. Prodigal -- OneRepublic
5. Grey Street -- Dave Matthews Band
6. Night Shift -- Commodores
7. Love and Happiness -- Al Green
8. Come In Closer -- Blue October
9. Free Fallin' -- John Mayer ( Cover )
10. Let Go -- Imogen Heap
11. Diamonds and Pearls -- Prince
12. 3 A.M -- Matchbox 20contents here.

Fin! ... mostly because I'm bored now. Hope it was different enough for ya.

I'm off to bed.... its like 1030 in the morning. I can now fall asleep without risking sleeping all friggin day and being groggy at work tonight.

Night. Love.

...i'm in the mood for love;

Sun, 15 Mar 2009 13:06:27 GMT

I want to fall in love. Hardcore, sappy, romantic, reason to live, excuse to die LOVE.

Any volunteers?

...jeezeleweez;

Thu, 12 Mar 2009 18:59:50 GMT

Started my new job at eight PM.

Got off at seven-thirty AM.

Went to the dentist at ten AM.

Quit my old job at eleven-thirty AM.

It is now eleven-fifty eight AM.

Arious is exhausted.

Goodnight. Morning.. whatever.

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 12:33:21 GMT

I have a new job now. I start Wednesday night at eight. I haven't even quit my old one yet.

Hmmm.

...until the depths give up their dead;

Tue, 10 Mar 2009 07:26:47 GMT

Leave it to old memories not to stay in their coffins where I thought I'd successfully buried them.

At the thought of sleeping with someone else, my stomach turns and I get this deep guilty feeling. I think its my heart telling me that even though Brian and I haven't had the commitment conversation, there's something between us that demands my honesty and my monogamy.

Sigh.

Sat, 07 Mar 2009 08:29:53 GMT

Ah damn.

Sick.

Again.

effin a

...guilty by design, she's nothing more than fiction...;

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 16:36:57 GMT

Sometimes, that's how it feels. Like I'm a figment of someone imagination... as if I'm not in complete control. But when I actually start to become convinced that this notion, this feeling may be more, I remember that its me - I- Arious , who will be held accountable for my actions -- every single one of them. And that keeps me grounded. Very grounded.

Still.

What if.

And if we all are just figments of someone's imagination, who's effin mind are we locked in?

My money is on Michael Jackson.

It would only make sense.

Gah. I have an hour before I have to start thinking rationally. Allow me this crazy talk before school starts.

Love.

p.s.
Another awesome weekend! Happy Birthday, Tricia-bear! Now that you've taken the first steps into the realm of not-in-your-twenties-dom, come back and tell us what its like! =)

ya know its all outta love.

...i drooled on him;

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 22:18:02 GMT

Well, March 12th will be the fifth time in less than a month and half that I've had two people in my mouth at the same time. And so far, its cost me almost six hundred dollars!

I hate going to the dentist.

...I DID SOMETHING AWESOME!;

Mon, 23 Feb 2009 19:35:11 GMT

So.

I made a community and I demand you go there and join.

Its called stealingwords and you simply post the words you wish you'd written or said or sang or screamed.. whatever. The point is someone else said them so you post them here.

Simple concept.

Go join. Make me happy. :)

...doobee doobee dooooo;

Thu, 19 Feb 2009 17:13:13 GMT

I finally made Esther make one of these here livejournal ( i'm trying to get her away from the evilness that is myspace.... bad bad place.. evil ). So, say hi to apoetssecret . Everybody be nice and keep the hazing down to a minimum. Remember what happened last time? ... the cops... the thirty pounds of imitation crab meat... ten days of antibiotics.. yeah, let's not have a repeat.

Hoorah for Blue October! And the two concert dates they've graced southern California with! Thirty ( or thirty-one ) days and counting.

*shakes with excitement. or maybe has just gotta go pee..*

What... else... NOTHING.

What a boring couple of days. Oh, Valentine's was great. I don't want any kind of chocolate any time soon, though. Work continues to suck large donkey balls and school is crazy boring. Finite mathematics is the icky math I did in algebra II only with WORD PROBLEMS! How cruel is that?!

Gah.

At least my homework isn't due for awhile.

Really, that's all I got.

Adieu.

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 11:28:10 GMT

I think I want to work for eBay.

...hmm.

...some things never change;

Tue, 17 Feb 2009 05:54:53 GMT

My brother came home from prison about a month and a half ago.

I thought our relationship could get better.

I believe he's personally to blame for the way things are.

I don't want him to live here anymore.

Its a selfish thought but its what my heart feels.

I don't want him here.

Edit//

And two hours later... you throw a temper tantrum because our mother asked you not to speak to the people in this house like you're the homeowner. A reasonable request, just like the very reasonable request for me to keep the noise down when my friends are over. And you, Mr. Let's All Be Adults Here, throw a temper tantrum because you, also Mr. Felony Charge, feel like she's asking too much.

Get over yourself, older brother. Do us all a favor and stay out of our way. Your anger issues need to be resolved and you need to know I won't let you get away with talking to ANYONE like you're someone's mother.

...i am folded and unfolded;

Thu, 12 Feb 2009 18:28:51 GMT

When the dust finally settles, the clouds finally part and everyone finally clears out -- its just you. You and the thoughts that have accumulated unaware. What's left to do? Sort it all out, make sense of it all and rearrange accordingly.

Simple.

So, here I stand with a week and half's worth of unsettled thoughts and undigested events. Nothing too big to deal with, though. Just simply spent the last ten days or so putting things on the back burner and dealing with the things that were easy to swallow immediately and readily. Everything else... I'm trying to convince myself that the best thing to do it settle those thoughts and digest those events. To someone who avoids confrontation ( even when its up against myself ) like the PLAGUE, that's not as simple or easy as it sounds. In fact, its somewhere in the realm of daunting.

I think I'm going to go find my bed. An issue easily settled. See? I'm already making progress.

Sat, 07 Feb 2009 06:05:16 GMT

Why me?

...crappiest week;

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 06:42:29 GMT

So, how's your week been, Arious?

My grandmother passed away on Monday. I left my phone at home and didn't know until I got back from work. I wanted to curl up under the bed and die. I wanted to be there...

I had a tooth opened up on Tuesday to alleviate pain and clean out an infection until my root canal on the 13th.

So much pain.

Mon, 26 Jan 2009 21:24:55 GMT

I am not myself today.

I want to curl up in bed and stay there, with my head under the covers and my eyes tightly closed.

Its not because I'm sleepy.

Its deeper than I care to understand right now.

Thu, 22 Jan 2009 21:10:24 GMT

School starts in a matter of weeks. Woo?

Kinda full schedule. I took the most random classes that I needed to take, mostly to get them out of the way. I ended up with Finite Math ( because a lot of the math classes are closed due to financial cutbacks ), Physical Geography ( is there a geography that isn't physical? ), Public Speaking ( oh dear god... I'm scared already. ) and Intro to Sociology ( might as well finish the rest of the intros. I've already got intro to psychology and intro to anthropology under my belt. ) Besides, I'm going to need a degree in sociology eventually.

Fun times ahead.

Everything else is gravy. Looking to find a new job. The only problem is that I know where I work now, I can go to school with absolutely no problem. I'm sure I can do it with a new job if I drop the public speaking class but I'm sure if I explain what's going on, we can work out something. With the new job, I mean. Ah well. I'm supposed to have an interview with Westcliff Medical Labs some time this week. We'll see how that goes. I'm not a natural charmer but I can work magic when I need to.

Brian is wonderful. I got him some cigars when I was in Florida and he seemed really, really happy that I even thought about him while I was away. Of course I did! I thought about everyone in my life and got them something that reminds me of them. Even the Sammieface. Which reminds me, I have to find a box for this stuff. Cigs coming soon, Sam! I swear! Soon.. as in before we fly out there to visit! Heehee.

Its one and I have a million hours before I even need to think about getting up. So, Imma laze around and watch television and not think about school or work.

Love.

Mon, 19 Jan 2009 12:18:40 GMT

We live! Both of us. Woo!

Many things to tell but later.

Florida was okay. Disney World was okay. Animal Kingdom RULES!

And Brian.. well, he makes me smile. What can I say? If you didn't want to punch someone in the mouth every now and again, what the hell kind of relationship would that be?!

More later... when its not four something in the morning.

Night.